Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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