I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
