she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
then he tried to convert me to islam
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
