Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
last night I used snow as a chaser
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
