It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
