i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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