therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
