This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
