god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
