I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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