is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
