Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize