He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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