You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
