come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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