she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
