i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
