Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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