For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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