Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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