I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
