Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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