people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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