Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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