Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
