And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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