The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
