You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
