Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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