i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
