My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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