some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
