I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I understand Curling. That high.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
