I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
