My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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