I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
do nipples grow back?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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