I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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