lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
