so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize