scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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