it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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