i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
