she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
