Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
