yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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