i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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