I want to stick my p in your. b.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
