You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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