It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize