Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
