I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
