Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
