You're earring is so big in my mouth
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
