That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
