She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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