he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just want to make out with him forever
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
