All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
