Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
