he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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