I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
