HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
