My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
