Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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