I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
jump out the window naked night went bad
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
