Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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