The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
