The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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